


J’zargo Always Knows What He’s Doing

by VentiHomosexual (Yoms_old_garbage)



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Competitiveness, Friends to Lovers, I love this shit cat wizard ok, Look this is just filth because I am Lonely and Gay, M/M, No Plot/Plotless, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:27:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27057940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoms_old_garbage/pseuds/VentiHomosexual
Summary: J’zargo is annoying, but Yun finds it charming mostly. He is also almost always planning something... And most of the time that plan ends up with half the surrounding area on fire. Yun still has the singed hair to prove it.At least this time it’s not anything physical that J’zargo set aflame.————Or: Look I am hyperfixated on Skyrim right now and J’zargo keeps saying stupid shit and I should not have to download a mod to date the big dumb cat man okay?
Relationships: Male Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/J’zargo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	J’zargo Always Knows What He’s Doing

**Author's Note:**

> Im thinking this is just gonna be my Bethesda game pseuds cause That just kinda makes sense to me. 
> 
> Either way I’m gonna level with you, this is 100000000% self-indulgence on my part because I would die for J’zargo. Tbh actually all of the Dragonborn’s classmates. Point is though J’zargo is the only one you can’t marry without hacking into the fuckin source code so I am out here in an act of formal protest posting mediocre porn to the internet!
> 
> Todd Howard will pay for his cowardice. Sure buddy let me be a humanoid cat but not date the humanoid cats sure SURE just catch me crashing my game with mods so I can do it anyway. 
> 
> Also I wrote this 100% on my phone so sorry if the formatting is GARBAGE haha anyway...

J’zargo was annoying sometimes. He was too proud, too boastful, too eager to call himself better than you. Not that Yun was any better but at least he had the title of arch-mage to back up any and all boasting he may partake in. 

Of course his occasional annoyance with J’zargo didn’t mean he disliked him, oh quite the opposite, he liked J’zargo a lot. Perhaps more than he should, certainly more than his parents would ever approve of (but they were so long dead that it barely bore concerning himself with). The Khajiit had a way of making Yun smile that few others could achieve, and they would often spend hours quietly studying together in Yun’s quarters. Barbs would be shot back and forth between them occasionally but it was always matched by a useful suggestion, a lended ingredient, a second opinion. Of course, Yun learned the first time that he shouldn’t help J’zargo too directly with some of his experiments -his hair was still an inch or so shorter than it had been before he’d helped him out the first time- but hopefully whatever sad-sacks J’zargo roped into doing his testing would be more likely to survive after Yun had taken a look over his scrolls first. 

It was one such an evening, the two of them sitting on the roof of the college. There were plush pillows piled around them, which Jun had made from the skins of a strangely persistent pack of ice-wolves that had continuously bothered Winterhold the year prior, blankets on the floor, and a magical barrier up to protect them from the elements that liked to sneak their way into the arch-mage’s quarters. Even with the barrier up and his plush surroundings, Yun found himself shivering; thin arms wrapped around himself as he flipped through the book about the atronach forge (he had yet to tell J’zargo about that... He wanted to know how it worked first or else risk him taking matters into his own hands). J’zargo shuffled enough to make Yun look up at him, and Yun fought off rolling his eyes as his head tilted to the side in question, a little too much like a housecat, “You are cold,” he said bluntly, offering no solution. 

“An excellent observation J’zargo,” Yun grumbled, his eyebrows pulling down and making his already angular Altmer features look almost vertical. He tucked a loose strand of his hair behind his ear grimacing at how cold to the touch the tips were. He huffed, returning his attention to his book until he found it lowered by a furred hand. 

He looked up, found that tilted head again, and opened his mouth to speak. J’zargo held a claw up to his lips before he could actually do anything more though. Jun’s frown became a scowl. “J’zargo has a solution,” he said matter-of-factly, nodding his head once, “Yes. We are mages are we not, you should allow J’zargo to warm you from the inside.”

Yun’s cheeks heated, hidden by the cold flush he already had spread across them. He was unsure if it was the large Cat’s sudden proximity, his long whiskers (moustache? Could it be called a moustache?) practically fluttering against Yun’s cheeks, or Yun’s ability to twist J’zargo’s innocent suggestion into something else entirely. Probably a mixture of them all. 

When he received no answer J’zargo huffed, “Come, it will not take long,” and stood abruptly, fingers curling around Yun’s wrists and tugging him up too. Now, he and J’zargo stood at roughly the same height, Jun actually taller when J’zargo flattened his ears, but while J’zargo had a little bulk to him, Yun was very slight. So when coupled with the whole of his body trying to curl in on itself, it meant that as he stumbled up and into J’zargo’s waiting chest he couldn’t help but feel unusually small. 

And warm. 

And safe. 

And for a very brief moment he didn’t pull back from the embrace. 

Apparently a brief moment too long, because J’zargo purred quietly and wrapped his arms around Yun’s thin waist. More heat flooded Yun’s face as J’zargo ducked his head and purred into his waiting ear. “Or we could just do this too,” he said; and although he said it as if this were a surprise, Yun found it hard to believe this hadn’t been his plan from the beginning. 

“Sometimes things are better done the old-fashioned way,” he hummed contentedly, and the longer Yun stood there warmed by the rumbles from the Khajiit’s chest the less he was inclined to pull away from the embrace. “J’zargo thinks you are warming up already.” 

Yun sighed, “S’just ‘cause you’re like a giant teddy bear,” he mumbled, frozen nose thawing in the crook of J’zargo’s neck. He curled and uncurled his fingers in the minuscule space between their bodies, flooding Magicka into them to warm them up faster, “Khajiit are from the godsdamned desert how are you not cold too?”

J’zargo chuckled in that infuriating way he always did, and Yun bristled slightly but made no move to pull away. “J’zargo drank a resist cold potion before coming out here,” he said, and Yun could hear the smug grin in his voice.

Asshole. 

“One would think the Arch-Mage would have thought of this.”

Yun channeled a light shock through his fingers in retaliation which only succeeded in drawing another chuckle from J’zargo. 

They stood there for some time, and all the while Yun felt himself grow more and more content to stay in the embrace. He warmed slowly, sinking into the body before him as it rumbled gently. Neither of them spoke a word during that time either, a silent agreement passing between them to simply enjoy the embrace while it lasted. 

It was only after Yun eventually pushed up closer to J’zargo, arms wrapping around his shoulders and down his back under his robes -and truthfully he wasn’t sure why, he supposed it was some kind of sub-conscious desire to get closer- that the purrs grew louder and J’zargo’s claws dug into the small of Yun’s back. 

“Mmmhm,” J’zargo purred and Yun stuttered out a gasp as he felt J’zargo’s wet nose snuggle against the crook of his neck, “If J’zargo did not know better he would think you were trying to seduce him.”

Yun felt a sudden wave of heat through his whole body and he was unsure whether it was him or J’zargo that caused it. He felt like his nerves had just been turned up to eleven and every puff of breath from J’zargo seemed to make his pulse race a little faster. He swallowed thickly and decided firmly that he wasn’t about to look a gift horse in the mouth, so he pushed forward on his toes to nuzzle the feline in return. “It’s a good thing you do,” he replied, fingers now basically petting the fur of J’zargo’s back, “It would be incredibly unprofessional of me to try seducing a student of the college.”

“Ah,” another chuckle, this time punctuated by a subtle roll of their hips that made Yun dig his teeth into his lower lip. He wasn’t super sure why he was going along with this, outside of just not having been bedded in a long time but that was hardly an excuse. He and J’zargo were friends and colleagues; he should by all rights push J’zargo away and go their separate ways, forget this happened. But that was also the cowards way out, and Yun had never been able to turn away from a challenge J’zargo had set him. And make no mistake, this was a challenge, with J’zargo everything was. 

This, of course, is ignoring any and all passing thoughts he’d had when they’d gotten a little too handsy while bickering in the past. Passing thoughts and nothing more. 

“Of course J’zargo never doubted you for a second,” another subtle roll and this time Yun responded with one of his own. 

A gasp as J’zargo’s claws dragged up Yun’s spine, and then there were several moments of silence between them. Time seemed to halt around them for a while, as they stumbled back and dropped back down onto the now slightly chilled cushions. A small whine escaped from him as J’zargo landed on top of him, eyes bright and wide, cock obvious through his robes pulled tight as they were with his legs spread over Yun’s. Yun felt himself swallow as J’zargo pressed into the equally obvious bulge in Yun’s own robes. 

“Have you been with a Khajiit before?” J’zargo asked, and Yun had no idea the guy could be so precise and graceful as he was being with his hips right now. It was downright hypnotizing, watching them move as little sparks of arousal pooled in his groin. Really he should have known that J’zargo would pull yet another skill from out of his ass. 

He shook his head, in truth he’d only ever been with one other person sexually, period, so he had to admit to his own disadvantage. Not only was that person another Altmer but they had also been female so to say he was out of his element just slightly would probably be a gross understatement. He was willing to accept a handicap for the moment. That was of little consolation as J’zargo downright grinned, but he was rapidly coming to the conclusion that this whole situation was J’zargo’s original plan anyway. 

Still... 

Yun had half a mind to throw the smug bastard off of him and finish himself off somewhere else, but a firm lick up his ear with a rough tongue changed his mind very quickly. “That is alright,” J’zargo purred, as his hand reached down between them and started shucking up their robes, “J’zargo has been with a ‘Mer before, he is sure this will come in handy.”

Yun’s own hands hurried to help him, and very soon they were pushed back enough that while he couldn’t see under the fabric, he could feel the cold air seeping in from below as J’zargo radiated heat from above. A soft hand curled around his dick and he swallowed down a loud moan as he felt around to return the favour. 

When his hand finally wrapped around J’zargo’s cock in return, he gasped and swallowed thickly. J’zargo’s dick was thick, short, and slightly bumpy, and as he ran his hand up and down he almost felt as if he were catching on it on the up-stroke. It was strange, but certainly not unwelcome, it was definitely close enough to a normal dick that his own jumped as he felt it in his palm. That, and J’zargo seemed to enjoy the attention so he wasn’t about to squander the opportunity. 

The only way to describe the noise he made is a mewl, high and pleased, his forehead coming down to rest against Yun’s. “Yes...” he hummed, squeezing Yun’s dick and making him grunt. 

“You know,” he said, after a moment, and Yun could not take his eyes off of him for a second. “J’zargo did not know why someone would bother to be penetrated until he bedded a Dunmer once, and then he knew,” and then J’zargo’s hand was gone and he tipped forward even closer so that Yun’s dick was rubbing against his entrance. Yun bit his lip, pupils wide, hand still slowly stroking, as he leaned back into the pillows, quickly coming to accept that he was just along for the ride. 

Oh, because now it was blatantly obvious that J’zargo had planned this from the beginning. Yun could feel how wet his hole was. He didn’t care how little experience he had, asses didn’t make slick, of that he was sure, and J’zargo’s was decidedly slippery. 

“Khajiit are big but short, and that is good, but have you ever been taken by a ‘Mer?” He didn’t wait for Yun to answer, he just grabbed Yun’s dick again and sank down slowly onto it, eyes rolling back and grin even wider now than it had been. He all but giggled, a high laugh leaving him as he bottomed out, but Yun was too distracted by the feeling of _tight hot yes_ to notice. 

“So long,” he purred, rumbling from deep in his chest, “J’zargo feels you so deeply.”

Yun pushed his face forward and muffled a groan into J’zargo’s robes, “By the Eight- Nine- Three, whatever...” another moan, accented by J’zargo’s rumbling laugh as he began to very subtly rock his hips, “Don’t say that, I’ll finish too soon.”

“That is okay,” J’zargo grinned, and tensed his muscles so Yun had to bite the fabric in front of him to stop himself from yelling. He was being rapidly reminded that he had only had one other sexual partner and even J’zargo’s tiny rocks of his hips were nudging him closer and closer to the edge. “What J’zargo really wants is to feel you finish inside him,” he let out a high whine at the same time Yun did, and both of them laughed out a puff of air In response. 

“You will one day be the death of me,” he gasped, because J’zargo had raised himself slightly and soon after dropped down roughly, and oh wow did that just feel incredible. 

By the eight... his best friend was practically using him like a sex toy. Raising himself up and down and up and down, mewling and purring as if he couldn’t help himself. Yun was fairly sure they would be able to hear him down in the courtyard if it weren’t for the ever-brutal winds of Winterhold carrying the sounds out to sea. 

He recalled a seedy establishment he’d been into once, where men went to pay for company. He’d only been there for a job with the Dark Brotherhood, but he can vividly recall the sounds of a Khajiit woman as she was rammed into a wall by a large Nord. She’d been making long loud mewling sounds, not quite moans as he was used to them. He’d found himself interested in her sounds then, so different and animal compared to what he had experience with, compared to the other people in the brothel. 

J’zargo was making similar noises now, except they were deeper, rolling out from low in his chest. His face scrunched a little as his eyes rolled back. Yun was mesmerized, he didn’t know J’zargo could be like this. He hadn’t known how utterly, indescribably arousing his best friend could be until he’d seen him bouncing on his dick as if he would die if he stopped. As if the moons would fall from the sky and Skyrim would go up in flames if the friction between them stopped. 

Truth be told Yun was beginning to feel a little like that too. 

“J’zargo feels so good,” J’zargo slurred, his tongue darting out to begin lapping at the line of Yun’s jaw. It was scratchy but somehow it felt good, as if the discomfort made the pleasure that was quickly gathering in his groin seem all the more potent. 

“I don’t-“ Yun swallowed thickly, tilting his head back as J’zargo’s sharp teeth scraped over his jugular, “I can’t last like this, J’zargo I-“ he let go of a moan at the same time J’zargo did, a sudden roll added to the movement of J’zargo’s hips jolting them both that much closer to climax, “By the- I need- yes, fuck...”

He certainly was less eloquent when being ridden like a prize stallion, but to be fair he was fairly certain his mind was only capable of processing thoughts directly related to how fucking right and amazing J’zargo felt around him and very little else. 

“So deep,” J’zargo rumbled, and Yun would later vehemently deny that he whimpered, “Yes, you are close, J’zargo can feel it.”

Close at this point was probably an understatement, given that J’zargo’s next statement sent him hurtling headlong into the best orgasm of his life. 

“J’zargo wants to feel you fill him, yes, so much. Fill him up!”

Yun gasped desperately for breath as he came, feeling his own seed spread around as J’zargo continued to bounce through it. It vaguely registered to him that J’zargo was crying out, his movements clumsier as he clenched down tightly on Yun, making the elf’s own eyes roll back. 

The two of them slumped, Yun over the cushions at his back, J’zargo over Yun’s heaving chest. 

There was silence between them as the two fought to calm their breaths. 

J’zargo, predictably, was the one to break the silence. 

“J’zargo does hope this will not just be a one time thing,” he said, and Yun became very suddenly aware that he was very much still inside J’zargo and that J’zargo was making no move to change that. He swallowed again. “J’zargo will admit, he has always had a small fascination with you,” his claw played idly with the tassels on Yun’s robe. 

Yun huffed out a laugh, a little hysterical, as a realization hit him. At the same time though he couldn’t help the warmth it spread through his chest. 

“Did you just seduce and fuck me within an inch of my life and then admit you have a crush on me.”

J’zargo avoided his eyes, an act that was so ridiculous given their current position that Yun had to fight back another laugh. That warmth grew a little, “... Perhaps...”

If he were honest he’d never even considered the concept of courting J’zargo before this point, and perhaps it was just the post-sex endorphins that made it seem like a good idea but despite himself he couldn’t find any objections. For some reason it felt right, a transition from classmates to friends to confidants to something even better. 

Something in the way J’zargo’s eyes darted back up, nervous but hidden behind a thick layer of bravado had Yun all but swooning. 

“Did you perhaps consider asking me to court you before you decided to bed me or is this a matter of cultural differences?” Yun asked, a chuckle in his voice. 

J’zargo shrugged, eyes darting back up, slit pupils all but round, “J’zargo considered it,” he said with a firm nod, “but he decided you were more likely to oblige him if he made you orgasm first.”

Yun rolled his eyes, a snort-laugh leaving him. Of course, that was J’zargo logic if he’d ever heard it, “I can’t deny that it was effective in getting my attention if nothing else,” he said, eyeing J’zargo’s smug little smile with fondness. He had the sudden and unsurprising desire to kiss him but a thought stuck at the same time. 

“Do khajit kiss?” He asked, lifting a hand from where it had been cradling J’zargo’s side to slide through the soft hair on neck. 

J’zargo shook his head, but leaned forward and pressed his snout against Yun’s lips anyway. It was strange but not in a bad way, and despite everything he felt his stomach lurch happily when he did it. He supposed it really had been a while because even that faux-kiss made his lungs feels all too full. 

“Khajit do not kiss,” he said as he pulled back, and Yun’s lips tingled, “It is not uncommon for couples to groom each other, though, and J’zargo supposes licking ones face affectionately would be about the equivalent.”

Yun chuckled, his own turn to shake his head now, “I don’t know, that seemed like a kiss to me.”

J’zargo laughed, one of his awful better than you laughs, Yun was unsurprised to find it endearing at this point. “Of course it did. J’zargo kissed you, did he not? He is well aware of what it means in-“

He was cut off very suddenly by the feeling of a tongue running up the side of his snout. Yun laughed at his wide eyes as he picked a hair off his tongue, “There, now we’re even.”

J’zargo, for lack of a better word, giggled, smiling widely and leaning in forward close to Yun, “J’zargo thinks he likes this,” he said, pressing their foreheads together. 

Yun smiled back and nodded, “me too.”

Then he smirked, “Think they heard us in the courtyard?”

J’zargo laughed happily in response, sitting back on his haunches and making Yun’s eyes all but cross as his poor over sensitive dick was pushed a little further inside the khajit again. 

“J’zargo is unsure.” He said, a feral grin splitting his features in a way that made Yun’s heartrate spike, “but if they did not J’zargo thinks it would not take much to make you scream loud enough that they would.”

Yun grinned back. 

“You’re on Khajit.”


End file.
